1.18.2011

Today we found out for sure that you are all girl... Let me just start off by saying I thought for sure you would be a little boy. After I had Seth I had the strongest feeling that I needed to have another baby and if we were going to do this then we needed to do it sooner rather than later... I talked to your daddy about it and surprisingly he felt the same way. I know that little man was sent when he was to help get you here. You better thank him when you are older because he really is the reason I chose to try it all again.
It all happened fairly quickly. We tried for 3 months and found out on the 3 rd month that you would be joining us on my favorite holiday, the 4th of July. I'm not going to lie, secretly deep down I was hoping for another boy. Being 18 months apart from your brother made me want that so bad. I have seen the relationship that your daddy has with his brother and it makes me smile and so happy that he has someone so close... Luckily, the day we found out that it was an 85% chance that you were a girl we came home and I later found your older sissy putting a fairy costume, makeup and headbands on little man. It was at that moment that I realized you are actually a girl to save little man from all the torture your older sissy had in store for him... I can not even begin to tell you how excited Sienna is for you... We didn't tell her until I was 14 weeks pregnant with you and we would have kept it from her longer had we found a baby sitter the day we went to do the ultrasound. Sienna has been asking for a baby sister since the day we found out we were expecting little man. She has actually offered several times to trade little man for a little sister. I'm pretty sure she almost had Nicki convinced of the trade because she is so in love with little man but I talked her into keeping him around for a little while longer. Sienna would often ask me if I had a baby in my belly and when she saw your profile on the screen I seriously thought she was going to pass out. We had to swear her to secrecy because I was not ready for the secret to be out yet. I have this huge fear of losing another baby and that it why we waited so long to tell your big sister. I actually waited a lot longer than the past pregnancy's to go to my first check up for you. I knew that if we were going to lose you, it was going to happen regardless of what I did and there really was no preventative measures to take to help me keep you growing. The first check up was the same day that your sweet Nana passed away. To say it was a bittersweet moment is such an understatement. To hear your heartbeat beating strong on the same day that your sweet great grandma died was a sign that you were meant to join our family regardless of what your daddy and I thought before having little man. You see, when I was pregnant with your brother I was convinced that we were done. The stress and worry that I put into pregnancy was just too much for me. I was sure that I could not handle that one more time. Heck, we were so very grateful to get the two amazing children that we got so who was I to say we needed more... But the feeling of having you were pretty immediate after little man was born. I remember talking to your daddy and going over my fears of trying to have another baby. I kept telling him that I couldn't handle another loss and I remember him Telling me that our feelings on having another baby were too strong and he doubted this pregnancy would abort, he is such a wise man and always knows the right things to say. You are very lucky to be getting him as your father.
  So now here we are, half way through the whole pregnancy journey. It's going a lot faster then I would like... In reality I'm a little odd... I LOVE being pregnant. Feeling you move and flutter around inside is one of the most facinatig things in the world... I often find myself wondering what it's going to be like with 3... I'm in for a big change... Just promise me you won't conspire with your big sissy... I love that girl more then anything but man is she going to give me a run for my money... I'm not sure I can deal wit two of you like that...