5.25.2012

Sienna and I have been having a power struggle the past couple of weeks. Ruby informed me that kids go through this phase right before kindergarten, so we are not as sad to send them to school. Today after one of our epic battles I told Sienna to please leave and go find a new mom... I loaded the other 2 kiddos in the car and left... As she's running down the road screaming at me that she loves me and wants me to be her momma I bravely continued on. My parents only live 305 feet from me, so this is in no way child abuse...  I headed to my parents house to inform my father that if he wanted his grandchild to survive he needed to step in. He was not home and was pulling out of the driveway I see sienna running through all the cows in the field with her new puppy close behind her. When she reached me she informed me that because there was lightning that scared her that is why she couldn't listen to me.. Of course in defeat I loaded sienna and the puppy in the car and proceeded on with my day. Tonight she saw aunt ruby and informed me she wanted her to be her mom... It's a horrible feeling. I'm a terrible momma... Sometimes I think I probably shouldn't have had medical intervention to get her here... I guess heavenly father knew what a horrible mom I am and was trying to spare me... I'm learning, she's going to be my biggest test. I'm just not sure how to keep her independent spirit but still teach her what she needs to know???